Monday, April 29, 2013

Confronting Your Pain

I want to speak to any parents who are feeling lost, helpless or stuck after the death of a son or daughter.  This happens.  You are unique in your loss, but not alone.  Please know I and others are praying for you.  The spirit of your child still loves you.  In order to heal yourself, you have to give the process time and patience as well as put in effort.  You can heal and walk through this painful journey and come out the other side.  You will never be the same, but you can have a life.

I wanted to die after my son, my only child, and husband both died.  I thought I was all alone so what was the point in going on.  I even had someone keep my medications for me and give them to me only in small quantities.  If you feel like giving up, you must get professional help as soon as possible.  Call your doctor for a referral or go to an emergency room for help. I went to a therapist and got help.

If you feel like you can't do anything today,  please, get dressed and go out for a short walk.  When you get back, sit down and write a letter to your son or daughter.  Tell him or her what you saw on your walk, where you went, how much you miss him or her, any family news, and say, "I love you."  Do this everyday.  If you feel like it, you can also keep a journal of your private feelings.  It is good to write them down and get them out as this will help you heal.  Just write what you are thinking.  Don't worry about spelling and grammar. If you are feeling a lot of anger, blame or guilt, a therapist or grief counselor or a priest, minister or rabbi can help sort this out.  There is no shame or weakness in reaching out for help
It is painful to confront our thoughts and emotions, but necessary to the process of grieving and healing.  It is less threatening to do nothing.  You have to give this some thought and decide what you want for yourself and for those around you.  I and those around you have faith you can make this journey through the shadows and emptiness of your grief.  Please start with small steps today.

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