I am convinced within me and you is a tiny glimmer of life or light no matter how bad we feel. One of my favorite sayings is, The Voice of Life is soft, so we must listen hard." I could not find the author, yet is very appropriate to you and me--- we who have been surrounded with death and the loss of our children.
But if you and I are to journey through grief, we must search for that whisper of a voice or glimmer of a spark of life within us. Maybe you are feeling dead or numb inside, but if you are reading this, a spark has glimmered within in you or a whisper has spoken to you no matter how briefly. Perhaps it is the voice of my child or your child trying to speak to me and you to give us courage to go on. To go on with life and in so doing honor him or her.
Of course, you and I wish our lives were different. One thing I have learned, so far on my grief journey, is you cannot reverse life's events. I know I can only live presently with who or what I still have. I am trying to move forward with a different life with writing and traveling and being with extended family and friends.
Will my life or yours ever be the same as before? No. Can life again be meaningful and positive? Yes. Will there always be pangs of wanting the old life with our children and doubts filled with what if's and if only's? Yes. Then this is is the time to search for that whisper or spark of your child's spirit and go on. Ask him or her to help you.