Too many parents never find justice for the lives of their children who have been murdered. A case goes cold. Or their precious bodies are never found, but presumed dead. And some of us must live with this uncertainty for 20 to 30 years or more.
It has been 25 years since my Chris was killed. His death was ruled a suicide by, IMO, a compromised medical examiner and a compromised county solicitor because the chief alleged suspect/witness was the daughter of a very well known and influential local politician. A big fish in a small pond. Too many findings at the scene and too much missing and destroyed evidence made a determination of suicide questionable and this conclusion seemingly impossible. Plus, contradictory statements from nearby neighbors as to what the chief witness/alleged suspect did that evening, particularly, the timeline of her whereabouts at the time of Chris' death.
The chief investigator as much as admitted to me he could do no more as his hands were tied by the also compromised (my words) county solicitor who would not consider a cause of death other than suicide. He added sometimes we have to wait until our final destiny to get justice. A former FBI agent, who I hired as a private investigator, told me I could exhaust all my money and all my time and energy and still not find justice for my son. People had conspired to lie and would continue to do so. Evidence had been lost, destroyed or tampered with. I got hysterical crying when he told me this. I couldn't calm down. I am not sure how I ever managed to drive home.
Even the state's Inspector General's Office could not help me. I am sure many of you have had similar experiences. I see the crime investigation shows on TV. Sometimes parents wait 30+ years for an answer and justice. It comes because the family exerts continuous pressure on law enforcement or they are fortunate enough to get a dogged investigator who stayed on the case. Determined to find justice for some parents' child. God bless.
Many of us, even with community efforts, were denied justice for our murdered or missing and presumed dead children. I have said before, this is a very bitter pill to swallow. Even with a guilty verdict for the accused, parents must go through years of appeals and then parole hearings to assure justice. The convicted or accused have more rights than can be imagined. The victims and families not so much. Why is that? Why the imbalance? What seems should be self evident is filled with legal intricacies not favorable to our children whose lives have been taken.
I pray that one day, Chris will get the truth and justice he so richly deserves. Faith can move mountains. For those parents affected by similar tragedies, pray with me for truth and justice for our kids. In the end, we must all face Divine Justice. Better to go with a clear or repentant conscience. Have faith that we will be re-united with our children. We cannot let tragedy, anger and bitterness define our lives. This is very difficult, even impossible, to accept in early days. But life responsibilities and our other children and relationships have to go on.
I know the pull to sit in a dark closet and wait to die is strong. We have to reach deep within ourselves to find strength we did not even know was there. Do this. Have faith. Pray.
"The wicked plot against good people and glare at them with hate. But the Lord laughs at wicked people, because he knows they will soon be destroyed." Psalm 37: 12 & 13
If you have feelings of wanting to harm or kill yourself, in the US call 988 or 911. Outside of US, call your country's emergency number or have someone take you to the nearest hospital Emergency Room.
