LIFE IS SO HARD

 If you have lost a child, no matter the age or cause, I do not have to tell you just how hard life is. I had an experience a few nights ago. Recently I had a lumbar spinal fusion. I am supposed to avoid bending or twisting. Have you ever counted the number of things you drop in the course of one day? I was in my bedroom closet and struggling with something not going my way, when I broke down and had a little conversation with God.

I asked Him. Pleaded with Him. "Have I not suffered enough? I have had it God. It is time to come home to You. I am done with life." I listed all my travails with my health. Losing both parents within eight weeks of each other. Caring for a husband with a chronic illness for ten years. And finally losing a son and  husband within six weeks of each other.

We all have our moments. When I was done my rant, a picture and presence of a tranquil Jesus, who was kneeling in prayer and light, came to me. I interpreted this to mean Jesus is always there for me. Will always help me. This gave me comfort. This was God's answer. I felt comforted and strengthened. Several times this week, I had to stop and recall that image. Renew my faith and say a short prayer.

Sometimes that is as much as we can do---go from moment to moment because grief has overwhelmed us. Grief brings anger, frustration, despair, hatred, revenge, helplessness, injustice. A full range of negative emotions. It is difficult to control some wounds of the heart. But, we must in order to to move forward eventually.

If you have read some of my previous blogs, you know I speak a lot about grief involving choice. We have to choose to overcome  or envision ourselves stepping out of our despair. In other words, not let the loss of our children destroy us. It is a conscious decision we have to make when you realize these negative emotions will not allow you to resume living.

I am not saying forget what happened or you must forgive anyone responsible. What we must do is accept what has happened. Not to let the death of your child forever eat you up with anger, hatred and despair. It is another spiritual dimension from asking "Why God? Why? Why did you let this happen?"

We need to take a big step up with courage to accepting the weakness of our humanity. Acknowledging to God, "I need your help, God, and I need it right now!" It's okay to tell God you are angry at Him for what happened. Then ask Him how to get through what has happened? How to go from tragedy to remembering better times? How to find a way to honor your child? How to find a way to help prevent other children from the same fate?

Consider donating to research. Help groups who support deceased military and law enforcement members. Help others as you help yourself by joining a support group for parents who have lost a child through suicide, drugs, MVA involving alcohol, cancer, homicide. Advocate to get a stop sign or traffic light installed where your child was killed by contacting local officials, attending council meetings. Ask someone to help you by looking up on the internet groups and methods appropriate to your loss. 

Although time helps, grief does not go away, magically, by itself.  By sitting alone day after day on the couch. By hiding in the closet. By denying anything happened. 

Grief is an introspective, interactive and, I believe,  a spiritual process. I found I had to meet with people who had experienced the loss of a child as well. And, also, turn myself over to a higher power. To have faith in God. To others, have faith in Yahweh or Allah. 

You can get through the loss of your child. You can go from despair to finding living and purpose once again.

            "God is our shelter and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble."   Psalm 46: 1

If you (or a family member or friend) have any feelings of wanting to harm yourself or ending your life, call 988 or 911 for help immediately.

Peace, hope and love,

Rosemarie

DESPICABLE COWARDICE

Yesterday, I witnessed the most despicable display of cowardice and meanness by United States government officials that I have ever seen. I have great empathy for the parents and families of any of the beloved children or loved  ones who were attacked, injured or killed in one of the United States' major cities. Parents and families were asked to testify before a congressional committee. Why? The local District Attorney is accused of misdirecting his efforts and resources in place of addressing crime and the deterrence of crime in his district. Violence statistics and little or no punishment for violent crimes in his city would support this claim.

One set of Congress members listened respectfully and expressed appropriate comments and sympathy. The opposing side's comments were despicable. No other words, but despicable and cowardly. They ignored the parents' and families' concerns and visible pain as they recounted their horrifying experiences. These members of congress told these people testifying they were no more than political pawns. They expressed no sympathy and one or two even laughed. Laughed at these distressed citizens.

I called those members offices this morning to tell them I knew the pain of losing a son to an act of violence which apparently they did not. I told them their words and actions were despicable.

I feel as if a dark cloud has descended upon me today in seeing such a display of a lack of empathy and cowardice. Directly in the face of these very hurt and troubled folks. Who does that? I will tell you. People who are not fit to serve in the US congress. People who are pawns of their own political party. People who have long ago lost any sense responsibility for serving US citizens in place of enriching themselves.

I am sick of seeing the number of teens and even younger children shot and killed by illegal guns everyday. The numbers are higher than ever. And who is there to support these parents? I am. I feel your pain. To the extent that I can publicly speak or write for you, I promise that I will. I will continue to to stay on local, state and federal politicians. 

Those of us who have lost our children have a voice. It can be difficult to find our voices so people in power feel our pain. To be our own advocates to honor our lost children. To try to keep this violence from happening to other parents. Well, I am no stranger to calling my US congressional representative. I am no stranger to calling the US Capitol. I will continue to do that.

I know many of you do not have the motivation and energy to act because you are weighed down by your grief. I understand. For many of us we feel our lives or a very big part of our lives died when we lost our children. It is like a book whose last several chapters were never written. 

I feel weighed down myself today and more than anything so angry and frustrated by what I witnessed. I question who is there for us? Who can recognize our pain, our frustration, our anger and finally our lack of justice?

The homicide rate is so high now in the US, that police officials say that it is possible to solve less than half of these crimes. That is hardly reassuring to any parent or family who has lost a child or other family member to an act of violence.

I ask myself when will it end? When will school shootings end? When will we have responsible politicians who will help us? Right now, it is not looking good. If you have the energy, call, email or write your representatives and senators. The phone number for the US Capitol is  202-225-3121. Just ask to be connected to your representative or senator by name. I hope some of you can call. We need to have a voice. A feeling that someone knows our pain and can enact legislation to curb this violence and end school shootings. We need hope not discouragement. But, most of all we need action!!!

                                  "The helpless call to Him and he answers... "  Psalm 37: 5 

With love and hope,

Rosemarie

If at anytime you feel helpless or have feelings of wanting to harm yourself call 988 or 911 immediately for help.

RELIGIOUS HOLIDAYS TEST FAITH DURING TROUBLING TIMES

Here we are during Easter, Passover and Ramadan. Times which should be devoted to faith and peace. Yet, not only are we grieving the loss of our children, but we are seeing troubles worldwide. The war in Ukraine with unspeakable crimes, especially toward women and children. A once beautiful democratic country reduced to rubble. Tyrants in Russia. Plus China, Afghanistan and North Korea remain on the stage as bad actors. Always saber rattling about nuclear weapons. 

And much division, unrest, hatred, crime and violence in the United States. Brought about by a political party in the White House and Senate that has acceded their power to a very radical, fringe group of progressives. A group bent on gaining power by eliminating political opponents by any illegal means. Their tyrannical ends justify their extraordinary, malevolent means. Causing economic struggles, fear. confusion and governmental retaliation towards many law abiding, hardworking, tax payer Americans. Their supporters think the government owes them everything. Or they are wealthy elites with long time family money, wealth from the financial or tech world, entertainment, pro sports or political positions who are insulated from the real world. But challenge or expose them at your own peril. So much for American freedoms.

All this weighs heavy on me and I believe many of us as we try to find some peace and meaning in a path forward from losing our children. But, there is no good news. We see corruption and punishment of the wrong people. Retaliation toward people. Withholding of much needed aid from people in a town devastated by a toxic chemical railcar accident. Why? Because the population did not vote the "correct way." How many young children will become ill and maybe die from the long term effects of these toxins?We are in fear so we remain silent. And we have enough to deal with our own personal tragedies which sap our energy and motivation.

I am ashamed to admit when the natural time comes for the President and many in his party to meet their maker, I hope they will rot in hell for the evil they have created on this earth. The suffering they have caused while assuring us what "good Catholics' they are. Well I am Catholic. Their statements and actions are not only wrong, but evil. I express my disappointment that Pope Francis has not excommunicated these US politicians whose actions and statements are antithetical to Catholic doctrine. But of course, they would retaliate by probably finding cause to close all Catholic churches and schools and forbid religious instruction nationwide. The US has become a twilight zone.

So on top of our own personal tragedies and problems, this is where the United States is. In a state of tyranny where the American has died because of deceit, greed and something called "progressivism." A movement that supports coming after school children and parents to tell them that any perceived problem the child may have is coming from unrecognized transgenderism. Yet when the trans movement fixes such children, there is a 50% suicide rate. And pre-teens and teens are so confused by what these trans radicals are preaching, that depression and suicide is rising at astounding rates among these age groups. 

How can this agenda be legitimate if they have to use fear, force, unrelenting persuasion, threats and even violence to achieve such abysmal results. This is not a legitimate health issue, but a means to gain control of our kids, strip parents of their rights, take over school administrations. They want to destroy family and traditional values. The agenda is really Marxist based to achieve power, control and greed. Mostly in predominately White schools, but no inner city majority minority schools. I wonder why that is? It makes me even more skeptical of the legitimacy of the trans movement. These are disturbed, malevolent, Satanic inspired people who would bring such harm to children, parents, families and mostly biologic women as well.

If you have already lost a child and have living children, you must come out of your stuporous grief to protect and to find out what your child is being taught in school. Who is allowed to come into the school and what are they doing there? Who is funding them? What books are in the school library? Are Drag Queen story hours being presented? If what you find out is not to your approval, insist that your child not go to the library or be exposed to Drag Queens who are ADULT entertainment.

I have laid a lot on your plate which is not religious services, lilies, traditional foods or Mecca. But our living children must be protected. Must be allowed to have an actual childhood free from distressing and very confusing thoughts. Free from inappropriate sexualization. Free from outlandish, even scary. adult entertainment. The children I have seen at Drag Queen shows are not happy and having a good time. That is a LIE. They look absolutely frightened by the bizarre goings on and bizarre "Queens." Because they do not have their own kids, does not mean they have the right to have access to ours.

If your school district does not see the need to protect its students, then home school or send your child to an accredited religious school. Often, there is financial aid available.

This is not really the blogpost I intended to write. I wanted to wish you all a spiritual, peaceful, renewing religious holiday. Perhaps, it is the blog the Savior, Yahweh, and Allah wished me to write. To save many children from Satan. Evil is apart of our world. Satan never quits.

This is the season of fasting, praying and giving alms. If you can do nothing else, then, pray, pray, pray that our children will be protected and saved. Holiday blessings to you all.

"They make evil plans as they lie in bed; nothing they do is good, and they never reject anything evil. Psalm 36: 4

"Give yourself to the Lord; trust in Him and he will help you."  Psalm 37:

Wishing you peace and strength. Time to reflect. Time to remember. Time to celebrate your child's life. Time to contemplate the future. Time to move forward no matter how slow.

My love and prayers, Rosemarie

THREE MORE CHILDREN WHO WILL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER ICE CREAM CONE

More children and school staff were killed by an armed intruder last week. My deepest sympathy to these parents and families. Will this time be different? Will politicians send their thoughts and prayers, shake their heads and then walk away. If they are not part of the solution, then they are most definitely part of the problem. There is a lot of legislation that can be passed to stop these shootings.

Politicians are too cowardly to pass legislation to stiffen penalties for school shooters. To make a school shooting a federal death penalty crime. To make any shooting death in which an illegal gun is used a life long prison sentence or death penalty for adults.  And a life sentence for the seller of any gun used in a homicide. But politicians lack the guts to stand up and take a tough stand regardless of who the shooter is. Instead of sending billions to foreign countries, how about some billions in the US to provide federally funded mandated security for all schools. The US has problems too and school shootings have become a very big problem.

Race, ethnicity, age, gender or identified gender should make no difference when a person kills kids. Political correctness is out of place for anyone who indiscriminately mows down kids and school staff with a gun. No mercy. But Congress can't seem to understand this. Soft on crime, cashless bail, no incarceration, no death penalty is the trend of the justice system. And what has this accomplished? Unprecedented increases in crime all across the nation. No one is safe anywhere in the country at any venue. There are fatalities with shootings, stabbings, car jackings. We have reached all time crime records in many large cities. And take public transit at your own risk of death or assault. Barbarians are living among us because there is no fear of any consequence. The inmates are truly running the asylum.

Justice reform for whom? Not these parents and families. Already, certain groups and the media want to make excuses for this recent shooter because of her choice of gender identity and lifestyle. But that was HER choice. Her choice to turn her bedroom into an armory. She is not the victim here. Three dead children and three dead adults and all their parents and families are. I fear she will long be remembered for the wrong reasons. While these parents and families whose lives are forever changed will soon be forgotten. Left to get through life as best they can. Along with the siblings and all the other children who had to experience this horrific event.

Money spent on foreign countries and illegal migrants should be used here to provide adequate mental health care. We do not have enough psychiatrists, psychologists and social workers for the number of people who need psychiatric services. There are not enough inpatient beds for the chronically psychotic mentally ill persons who pose a danger. There are parts of the country that have no nearby mental health clinics. The process of involuntarily committing a persons who are a danger to themselves and others is so cumbersome and subject to appeal that most psychiatrists don't even try. And if they are successful, there are too few places to put dangerously disturbed people. So dangerous people are discharged in 72 hours. Told to take their meds and return to this or that place for meds and out patient treatment. Which almost none do. They wind up with no care, many times homeless and a risk to themselves and others. 

What is Congress doing about the mental health crisis in America? Nothing. We are facing cowardice, corruption and an incompetent, compromised president in the Oval Office. Sending weapons to Ukraine when we need school security throughout  the US and mental health and addiction services in our schools and communities. And sending $55 billion to the Middle East and Africa to protect various countries borders and establish health initiatives. We need US border control and need health initiatives in the US too.

Biden's first response at a public event immediately after this latest school shooting was to first make jokes about ice cream. When there were three dead children who will never have an ice cream cone again. There have been 401 Children killed in US school shootings. There have been 467 children killed in the Ukraine war. The US is also fighting a war on it own soil. Biden briefly mentioned the tragic event. Pushed for a ban on assault weapons. Then went back to the ice cream jokes. Having missed the irony of what he was saying about enjoying ice cream. He is not tone deaf. He is significantly cognitively impaired. So, no help there. That leaves Congress and the Supreme Court.

Schools are soft targets because there is no security as in a well armed guard. There are plenty of retired military and law enforcement officers as well as policemen leaving their jobs in droves. With federal money, every school in America could be made safe. I will be calling my Congressman. I suggest you call yours. Maybe it will do some good. Before another school shooting takes place. And, sadly with no changes in security and mental health, it will happen again. One commonality in school shootings is the shooters are copy cats.

I can only leave parents who have lost children by being shot words of comfort I borrowed again from Sister Joyce Rupp of The Sister Servants of Mary from her booklet, "Prayers in Time of Suffering."

"In this time of my grieving carry me on strong wings.

Be my patience day by day when the heartache refuses to leave.

Be my strength when I am exhausted.

Be my hope when I feel overwhelmed.

Be my faith when I do not understand.

Be my trust when I am distraught.

Be my peace when I am filled with tears.

                                                 Amen

                                             Isaiah  40: 1

Both children and parents are guaranteed LIFE, liberty and the pursuit of happiness in the US. This does not appear to be happening unless you are a criminal.

May God's love, care and mercy be upon those of us who believe in the rule of law.

My love and prayer for your children and that we will see no more murder and grief.

Rosemarie

A VIEW OF TRANSGENDERISM FROM A BEREAVED MOTHER & SCHOOL NURSE.

Dear Transgender Community:

I am making a departure from my usual writing for bereaved parents as I believe this topic to be of interest to all parents, teachers, school districts and the LGBQT community. I write because I want to spare other mothers and fathers the immense pain of losing a child. Life is hard for everyone. I am sure there is pain in the transgender community. But, if you do not have a child, you cannot possibly understand the horrific grief of losing a child. And how a parent's life is never the same. 

I believe there are true transgenders just as there are true gays and lesbians. Probably have been from the beginning of time. The transgender population in the US is approximately 1.8% of the population in recent years. Except in Washington DC, it is 2.8% probably due to two large lobbying groups there. The LBGQT population represents about 3% of the US population.

Being a nurse, I researched if there was any way to diagnose transgenderism other than through behavior or  a psychological evaluation. I came across an interesting university study which used brain MRI's for 164 individuals who did not identify as transgender and 164 people who did identify as transgender. All the 164 individuals who did not identify as transgender, had no brain changes. All the 164 individuals who identified as transgender had brain changes in their hypothalamus. Most specifically, in the area of the hypothalamus which controls body image and gender identity. 

I, personally, believe there was no further investigation into this finding or further research funds due possibly to political correctness. It may not have been the result that was wanted, appreciated or expected. That being said, it is my opinion that any child, teen or adult concerned about confirming their gender identity, should have a consult with a neurologist to get a brain MRI. 

This is only prudent medical practice. Who undergoes hormone therapy which results in huge bodily changes and life long lasting effects without having any studies or imaging? The same for surgery. Who undergoes any surgery, especially, drastic life altering surgery without a diagnosis confirmed by studies or imaging?

I, in no way, want to offend or give a difficult time to any transgender person. But, I believe your cause has been put on steroids by insisting on going into every US school to "find" and "support" unrecognized transgender students. Not every kid who is special needs, shy, unconfident, depressed or being bullied is as a the result of unrecognized transgenderism. You are a tiny minority. Accept and live who you are. Be happy with who you are. 

Indoctrination of young kids and teens to believe they were assigned the wrong gender at birth or that all their problems are the result of not knowing they are transgender is wrong. You would do much better to understand and accept that a child belongs to the parent. Not the school. Not the State. And most certainly not to the LGBQT community. So my advice is change your methodology.

It is never a good strategy to insert yourself between parent and child. It just doesn't work based on my own experience as a school nurse for 38 years and  as evidenced by many heated school board meetings. I know there are federal funds which can be used in the schools to promote your agenda. This had to be approved by the teachers unions because in some cases you have replaced school staff.

I would suggest you use that money, instead, to establish parent support groups. Where you can have parents who suspect their child is transgender or the child has told their parents that they believe they are transgender come for support and information. Not persuasion, not indoctrination and not rebuke as to what terrible parents they are for questioning their child's gender identity conflict. Whenever you have to force, hide or threaten a point of view, it may mean the child is not transgender. There are other studies to show 90% of kids nine to fourteen years old outgrow the idea they are the opposite sex. Same with teens under seventeen. Ninety percent outgrow the idea.

Very troubling is the statistic that 50% of those undergo gender reassignment surgery commit suicide. That needs to be studied vigorously. Was it that gender identity was never their problem or they were not happy in their new identity or unable to adjust to the change? Many others are coming forward to say they regret their decisions to have gender reassignment surgery. The United Kingdom recently closed their transgender treatment facility because after many years, it was concluded they were doing more harm to kids than good. 

I believe if a child is truly transgender, both parent and child know this at an early age. This is where a support group could do a lot of good. Experts in the field could give presentations to parents. Information that is much needed. Then be there for them as support and let matters evolve on their own between parent and child. Support parents getting other opinions. Help parents with school issues.

The thing is, if you protest too much, want to control too much and force yourselves into every school in the US, what does that say? It says you appear to be attempting to recruit innocent kids into a cause that is yours, not theirs. You cannot force kids and adults into being transgenders when they really are not because you want a large transgender community. The statistics I have cited do not support the validity of your methods. Remember what Caesar said, "Yon Cassius doth protest too much."

You are bringing negative attention upon yourselves and the LGBQT community. I don't want that and neither do most people. You have your lifestyle. Embrace who you are, not who you want others to be. Help each other. Be there for adults who want to explore their gender identity and need support. 

I estimate from my annual reports, as a school nurse, I saw a total of 729,000 kids just for injuries and illness. Not counting the additional number of kids I saw for the various screenings I was required to do. As I was 30 years in high school, I can tell you I had kids who were gay and kids who were lesbian. 

Out of All those kids, I had ONE transgender young man in tenth grade who was very open about his sexual identity. His father accepted his decision. His mother did not so he lived with his father. He dressed as a male. Used the boy's bathroom. Was beginning hormone therapy. Told me he had to live a year as a woman to adjust to the change before doctors would do his reassignment surgery. I asked him, because I wanted to see if I was right, if he knew from an early age, he really wanted to be a girl. He was surprised and asked me how I knew. I said, just a belief I had about transgenderism.

I notice that you seem to go into all white, mostly suburban, schools rather than majority minority schools in large cities. Why is that? Is there some hidden agenda? This makes me question if everyone in your movement is truly who they say they are. Hard to trust people and know their motives. Your forceful desire to sexualize children from an early age through teens is what I find objectionable. It is unwarranted, IMHO. Certainly unwelcome by parents. And I believe as a mother and a nurse harmful and confusing. The business of children is academics and play not exploring their sexual identity when they never questioned it in the first place. What are you trying to prove?

I will leave you with an interesting quote from Lenin: "Morality is entirely subordinate to the interests of class war. Everything is moral that is necessary for the annihilation of the old exploiting social order and for uniting the proletariat." Any means justifies the end.

I don't know, but suspect, some of the trans community may using transgenderism as a way of destroying traditional values to promote Marxism. Be cautious. Millions upon millions of people have died, starved, suffered and been imprisoned under Marxism. If part of your agenda is to promote Marxism, be very carful what you wish for. The glories and successes of the proletariat never existed anywhere in the presence of these evil, dark forces. Nor will they for you, the LBGQT community or any of us. 

Much better if we peacefully co-exist without forcing each other one way or another. Without censoring each other. Without interference from each other. Without destroying each other. Without threatening each other. Without silencing each other. Without hiding information from parents about their child. Without believing in victimization, but rather autonomy and achievement. This is the American dream possible for all of us.