You hold within your heart all that pains and torments you. You try to go on with life because you cannot rationalize these pains away. That is why it is so difficult not to become bitter, angry and hopeless.
So I am repeating the concept of creating a little room within yourself for this grief and torment. Write down all your heartaches and visualize moving these ideas or words into your little room with in your conscious mind. These torments are hard to keep from permeating your entire life. That is why it is good to pack them all up in one place within you. If you are having negative thoughts or a bad day, you can place all these in your interior room with God or your higher power.
I experimented with making my room comfortable and attractively decorated. I also put in Chris' guitars, CD collection and running shoes. Along with the comfortable furniture, I hung paintings done by husband on the walls.
When I feel like it, I meditate on this room and ask God's help to strengthen me to go on and to find truth and justice for Chris. I can leave all this in my room and then go on with living.
I know this may seem strange, but please try it. You may be surprised how much peace and courage this little room may bring you. Again, please experiment with this and let me know how it goes.