Friday, October 25, 2013

Taking Back Power

     Transformation as a bereaved parent can be anxiety provoking.  There is a tendency to cling to the familiarity of past or present pain.  It is as if moving forward to another level will cause you to lose the memory of your child or worse dishonor his or her memory. Even take away whatever little peace you may have found.  It is a conflict.  No doubt about it.  One I can relate to.

     When I returned from the peace of visiting Spain. I started to have doubts about moving forward with my writing.  I thought, I'll just write little stories for my own and family and friends' pleasure.  I am going to give up this blogging and publication stuff.  Too stressful.  As you can see, I am back blogging.  I am also exploring additional options for my books.  I had all kinds of excuses to cocoon myself from fatigue to financial.  I started a writing seminar which I was anxious about, but it proved to be the motivation I needed.

     Transformation is another giant step and another decision on the journey of the grief process.  Questions will arise.  Can I really move on with my life?  Do I want to move ahead?  Is it the right  thing to do?  

     Only you can answer these questions for yourself.  Only you can decide your future direction.  But I urge you to consider with faith, thought and courage, what your next steps might be.  It would be very good to take back your own power from the enormity of the tragedy that has loomed over you.  If you and I allow ourselves to become or remain victims of our tragic circumstances, this only compounds our losses.

     Even if you don't feel like it today, you have survived.  This signals you have the ability to be a vital force for the universal good starting today and for tomorrow.  Perhaps your time has come to take back your life.  


bullybegone said...

Excellent blog entry, Rosemarie. I think you should consider writing a self-help book.

rosemarie kaupp said...

Thank you, Catherine. I have thought of it, but will give the idea further consideration. Thank you for your suggestion and confidence in me.

GrahamForeverInMyHeart said...

It's difficult to know where to begin when you no longer know who you are. This tragedy has made me feel frozen in time with no idea how to redefine myself. But it's only been 17 months, which really is just the blink of an eye.

rosemarie kaupp said...

Dear GrahamForeverInMyHeart
Seventeen months is a very short time in the grieving process, especially the loss of a child. You have some stages to go through yet before you can get to transformation, but you have been acquainted with the idea. It took me a long time to arrive at this stage. I should have made that clearer. I am sure you will arrive at a point where you will be able to redefine yourself. Just not yet. Meanwhile, pay particular attention to your own needs, both physical and emotional health. Please try to take care of yourself. Rest and nutrition are very important. If you can exercise and meditate, this may help. I would urge you to get Kathleen O'Hara's book, "A Grief Like No Other." I am sure it would be of help to you. You don't have to tackle the whole book. Page through and read what seems relevant to your situation now. My prayers and thoughts are with you.