Preserving Beautiful Memories

     The beautiful lives of our sons and daughters were halted in this earthly realm when they died. So many futures to be had---additional memories to be made, milestones to be achieved, graduations, friendships, weddings, careers and grandchildren all stopped. All the what could have been's tucked away with much sorrow, tears and mountains of regrets.

     I had my son, Chris, for 23 years. Perhaps that is a much longer or shorter time than you may have had your child.  Chris had just graduated from a technical school printing program. He was somewhat following in his father's footsteps who was a graphic design artist. He was used to his father approving printing jobs and printers calling our home for approval to print his design jobs.

     I like to talk about the memories I do have of Chris. I believe it is our privilege as parents to preserve the memory of our children. Even if people tell us, "Don't talk about that." It's not because we are doing something wrong, but because they are uncomfortable with the fact that our children have died. That is their problem. We have every right to speak of our children. Luckily, I haven't encountered this. But I would avoid discussing my child with these individuals and would save my precious memories for people who know and love me and want to love and remember my child.

     Sometimes I think it may seem strange when I talk about Chris because he is forever young and I am older now. I don't have as many memories of him as a young man as I do of his childhood, especially with him being an only child. Perhaps some of you have the same experience, but I don't let it hold me back. I reminisce away. It gives me pleasure to remember Chris and keep him alive in my mind and heart.

     I like to write things down. I have a small notebook to keep as a journal so I can jot down memories of events whenever they might come to me. That way, in moments of loneliness or prayer, there is a book of memories to sustain me.

     

     It may happen that you are in a place where you can't talk about any happy memories. 

After a recent death or the tragedy of a violent or sudden death or after a long illness, it may take some time to want to talk about good memories. Initially, there is shock, numbness and a host of negative emotions to deal with. But gradually, a glimmer of life will return. Allow some good feelings to return. Work with them. Hold onto them however briefly. The good memories will come.

     We must keep the memories of our children's beautiful lives within us and around us so we can always fondly and lovingly remember them even when they are gone from this earth.