Words that Pierced My Heart

     "His murder has broken me beyond repair." Such profound words. The words of a distraught father after the recent sentencing of his son's murderer. When I first heard those words on the news, they pierced my heart like a sharp pointed knife. The grief this father expressed was so immense, so poignant and so relatable to us all.

     The situation was the particularly gruesome murders 18 months ago of four very fine young men by two merciless thugs who both got life and additional years without any possibility of parole. How I wished I could have reached out and touched this father and consoled him in some way. I wish I could console everyone of you feeling this way. Yes, grief can and does break you in a very tangible way.

     This brokenness doesn't have to be permanent. Although, some measure of grief will always be with you, it does not have to destroy your life. I beg you not to let it do so. It is a conscious decision which way your grief will take you. It is possible to begin a healing process. I make no promise for total wholeness, but at least a life again that is in some way productive and meaningful.

     When my son and husband died within six weeks of each other as I was recuperating from cancer treatment, I had a moment of clarity one morning while laying in bed. I realized I could let tragedy destroy me or choose to go on with life. So I got out of bed and chose to on with my life.

     I beg you to make that same decision. It will not be a straight road or an easy road. You will have to fight hard within yourself not to give up or give in to your sorrow. You will need help--professional counseling, support group, faith based support, family and friends. You cannot go this road alone. Don't attempt to. There are a myriad of emotions to work through. A big one of mine was anger. I went to therapy, support groups and filled countless copy books with my thoughts and feelings. Went to church regularly and prayed and prayed and did not isolate myself socially from friends and family.

     You have suffered the worst of mighty blows in the loss of your child. Today you may believe you are broken beyond repair. Many days to come you may still believe that. You are not. Don't give up. Don't give in. Please decide to go on. Take that first step today to choose life. It is want your son or daughter would want for you. God bring you strength and some measure of peace. You can go on.