FORGIVENESS

     I always admire parents, whose child was killed by foul play, who forgive their child's killer. Well, they are a better parent than I, because I have not been able to do this due to the persistent lies and denial. Lawyers and private investigators have told me they strongly suspect one individual in Chris' death. And it appears political influence was exerted on the medical examiner and county solicitor in failing to fully investigate my Chris' very suspicious death. 

I discussed this with my Pastor who told me "forgiveness can take a lifetime." The holy seasons of Easter and Passover are upon us which would seem the perfect time to forgive. I was inspired by Pope Francis' Easter Vigil homily in which he said that,"With the Risen Christ, the Evil One has been defeated... regardless of what evil remains in the world."

Whoever has wronged us as parents or done harm to our precious children, God has taken care of or will take care of.  A good friend of mine always says to me, "God sees everything." There is no need for revenge and hatred. Of course, there should be justice through our courts. But if that is denied, the "court of heaven" will take care of it.

It occurred to me not to chase so hard at finding forgiveness, but rather, in time with prayer, let forgiveness catch up with me.  Eventually we all, whether moral  or immoral, will face Divine Justice. So during our earthly existence we are assured we can, "Give it over to God" to judge and remedy. 

That is what I have done. Recently praying to St. Jude to intercede with God to find truth and justice for Chris. Perhaps some of you are in a similar predicament. It may help you to do as I have done even as you may pursue you child's death through the courts, civilly or criminally. 

For a long time I struggled with not forgiving myself. I blamed myself for the circumstances of Chris' death. With prayer and spiritual and clinical counseling, I managed to overcome this. But it was not easy. Forgiving oneself is the most difficult. Guilt is a cruel master.

Forgiving those close to us for some perceived wrong can be challenging. This is a good season to try to reach out and attempt to resolve issues. Again, pray on it for wisdom and charity and "Give it over to God." Someone has to be the bigger person. Let it be you. More than ever, we need the support of family and friends. Denying ourselves hurts us the most.

"The Lord rules over the deep waters; he rules as king forever. The Lord gives strength to his people and blesses them with peace."  Psalm 29: 10-11

Wishing all a blessed Passover and Easter season. May all our prayers be answered.

Love,

Rosemarie